Miss-guided https://miss-guided.writeas.com/ Infrequent ramblings of an amateur adult Tue, 28 Apr 2026 11:27:24 +0000 In a rush, I passed a guy and his dog in the hallway. https://miss-guided.writeas.com/in-a-rush-i-passed-a-guy-and-his-dog-in-the-hallway?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[In a rush, I passed a guy and his dog in the hallway. I looked down and stopped. It wasn't a dog -- iit was a skunk/i. The guy cut in with a "Don't worry, his scent glands have been removed," and went on his way like that was the end of the explanation. ]]> In a rush, I passed a guy and his dog in the hallway. I looked down and stopped. It wasn't a dog — it was a skunk. The guy cut in with a “Don't worry, his scent glands have been removed,” and went on his way like that was the end of the explanation.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/in-a-rush-i-passed-a-guy-and-his-dog-in-the-hallway Mon, 26 Apr 2021 19:23:52 +0000 The other day I asked my boyfriend if his long term goals (i.e., "What do you... https://miss-guided.writeas.com/the-other-day-i-asked-my-boyfriend-if-his-long-term-goals-i-e-what-do-you?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[The other day I asked my boyfriend if his long term goals (i.e., "What do you want out of life?") have changed over the last few years. I'd venture to say that we're both on the ambitious and competitive side of the spectrum and in the past we've talked about the value of education, FIRE, and mentoring. In more words, he explained to me that the past few months in his Ph.D. program have been draining. He's often anxious and stressed and it never ends. So his primary goal, on the green grassy other-side of a dissertation, has become work-life balance. It was exactly how I would have responded if given the question. ]]> The other day I asked my boyfriend if his long term goals (i.e., “What do you want out of life?”) have changed over the last few years. I'd venture to say that we're both on the ambitious and competitive side of the spectrum and in the past we've talked about the value of education, FIRE, and mentoring.

In more words, he explained to me that the past few months in his Ph.D. program have been draining. He's often anxious and stressed and it never ends. So his primary goal, on the green grassy other-side of a dissertation, has become work-life balance. It was exactly how I would have responded if given the question.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/the-other-day-i-asked-my-boyfriend-if-his-long-term-goals-i-e-what-do-you Wed, 14 Apr 2021 23:22:05 +0000 Stayed up until 2 A.M. https://miss-guided.writeas.com/stayed-up-until-2-a-m?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[Stayed up until 2 A.M. guiding my boyfriend through fundamental electromagnetics, just like he used to do with me for calculus II. It's the first date we've had in over a month. We were always busy during our undergraduate years, but not once did I think about quitting. Since starting the Ph.D. program, I think about quitting most days. I think everyone does.]]> Stayed up until 2 A.M. guiding my boyfriend through fundamental electromagnetics, just like he used to do with me for calculus II. It's the first date we've had in over a month. We were always busy during our undergraduate years, but not once did I think about quitting. Since starting the Ph.D. program, I think about quitting most days. I think everyone does.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/stayed-up-until-2-a-m Mon, 15 Mar 2021 15:15:57 +0000 I am twenty two years old and I am experiencing the giddy awe that accompanies... https://miss-guided.writeas.com/i-am-twenty-two-years-old-and-i-am-experiencing-the-giddy-awe-that-accompanies?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[I am twenty two years old and I am experiencing the giddy awe that accompanies observing magic. Usually I would not be so keen as to share whether or not I believe in tangible magic (it's all intention, anyways) but that changes today! I have met a powerful witch who cured my migraine in less than two minutes, using magic. All that was necessary for this spell was holding an ice cube to the roof of my mouth for a minute. So, that will be the first one in the grimoire! ]]> I am twenty two years old and I am experiencing the giddy awe that accompanies observing magic. Usually I would not be so keen as to share whether or not I believe in tangible magic (it's all intention, anyways) but that changes today! I have met a powerful witch who cured my migraine in less than two minutes, using magic. All that was necessary for this spell was holding an ice cube to the roof of my mouth for a minute. So, that will be the first one in the grimoire!

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/i-am-twenty-two-years-old-and-i-am-experiencing-the-giddy-awe-that-accompanies Sun, 14 Mar 2021 23:03:15 +0000 Some days are hard. https://miss-guided.writeas.com/some-days-are-hard?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[Some days are hard. Recently, most days have been tough. Madame is cute. Fortunately, I am still able to work from home. Madame is happy. So I just have to look over for a reminder to keep going. It's all for her.]]> Some days are hard. Recently, most days have been tough. Madame is cute. Fortunately, I am still able to work from home. Madame is happy. So I just have to look over for a reminder to keep going. It's all for her.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/some-days-are-hard Sun, 28 Feb 2021 16:16:31 +0000 Oh boy. https://miss-guided.writeas.com/oh-boy?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[Oh boy. One of my classes started with a completely unfamiliar topic (fracture mechanics) and the accompanying lab was outside anything I had ever learned, including the lectures we had to cover the material. Unfortunately, my lab partner and I have similar backgrounds and neither of us knew how to approach the subject. In this course, the labs consist of numerical programming and each group has one week to turn in their submission. I took the lead writing MATLAB code, as my lab partner is not comfortable programming. I asked if he could make a glossary or begin writing the report while we deciphered what the instructions meant and trudged through each line of code, which was available to him via Git. About a week later, most of the code was working but I had also written the only words on the report. We had one day to finish and every other group had supposedly already turned in their lab. It's 5 P.M. on a Friday and I get this email from my lab partner: "iI tried writing a code of my own but was not able to get it to work. I hope yours worked, because that's the only hope we have to get the lab submitted😃. Thanks for taking the lead on this, I hope in the future there will be something I can take the lead on😊 so you don't have to do all the work alone./i" Wow. Great. It was a long night but I couldn't get the second half of the lab working, and about midnight I emailed my professor to ask for mercy. There was just one bug in the code but I couldn't find it. The problem was asking us to model crack propagation (i.e., growth of a crack given some initial conditions) under cyclical bending. My code was showing me that the crack didn't grow -- it immediately went into catastrophic failure. I couldn't find a dimensional error. The next morning, my professor asked to take a look at my code. An hour later came the reply: "i... Looks like you are right about the initial crack length... Thanks for catching this! (See email to the entire class)/i" Well, at least that felt good!]]> Oh boy. One of my classes started with a completely unfamiliar topic (fracture mechanics) and the accompanying lab was outside anything I had ever learned, including the lectures we had to cover the material. Unfortunately, my lab partner and I have similar backgrounds and neither of us knew how to approach the subject. In this course, the labs consist of numerical programming and each group has one week to turn in their submission.

I took the lead writing MATLAB code, as my lab partner is not comfortable programming. I asked if he could make a glossary or begin writing the report while we deciphered what the instructions meant and trudged through each line of code, which was available to him via Git.

About a week later, most of the code was working but I had also written the only words on the report. We had one day to finish and every other group had supposedly already turned in their lab. It's 5 P.M. on a Friday and I get this email from my lab partner:

“I tried writing a code of my own but was not able to get it to work. I hope yours worked, because that's the only hope we have to get the lab submitted😃.

Thanks for taking the lead on this, I hope in the future there will be something I can take the lead on😊 so you don't have to do all the work alone.“

Wow. Great. It was a long night but I couldn't get the second half of the lab working, and about midnight I emailed my professor to ask for mercy. There was just one bug in the code but I couldn't find it. The problem was asking us to model crack propagation (i.e., growth of a crack given some initial conditions) under cyclical bending. My code was showing me that the crack didn't grow — it immediately went into catastrophic failure. I couldn't find a dimensional error.

The next morning, my professor asked to take a look at my code. An hour later came the reply:

“... Looks like you are right about the initial crack length... Thanks for catching this! (See email to the entire class)“

Well, at least that felt good!

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/oh-boy Mon, 15 Feb 2021 20:57:03 +0000 It's been too long since I've shared Madame's charm with the world https://miss-guided.writeas.com/its-been-too-long-since-ive-shared-madames-charm-with-the-world?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[It's been too long since I've shared Madame's charm with the world Madame]]> It's been too long since I've shared Madame's charm with the world Madame

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/its-been-too-long-since-ive-shared-madames-charm-with-the-world Sun, 07 Feb 2021 20:23:50 +0000 I think over the past few months the ratio of "I take a shower" to "I open the... https://miss-guided.writeas.com/i-think-over-the-past-few-months-the-ratio-of-i-take-a-shower-to-i-open?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[I think over the past few months the ratio of "I take a shower" to "I open the front door" is about 2:1. Weird. ]]> I think over the past few months the ratio of “I take a shower” to “I open the front door” is about 2:1. Weird.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/i-think-over-the-past-few-months-the-ratio-of-i-take-a-shower-to-i-open Thu, 04 Feb 2021 22:12:16 +0000 The first conference presentation I gave was in a small room, filled with about... https://miss-guided.writeas.com/the-first-conference-presentation-i-gave-was-in-a-small-room-filled-with-about?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[The first conference presentation I gave was in a small room, filled with about seventy people, at my university. I was a sophomore working on undergraduate research and it felt fantastic to be their with my mentor, my friends, and a room full of people whose work had zero overlap with my own. Public speaking was not my strong suit -- it still isn't. Somewhere between excited and terrified I was breathless. The microphone didn't hide that. Nor was there a podium. Everyone could tell I was nerve-wracked and, a little embarrassed that the people I worked with saw it, I was grateful that a few professors threw me some softball questions I felt comfortable answering. At the banquet later that night, I couldn't help but draw in to myself: quiet and unassuming, just listening to the keynote. Afterwards, I was delighted that there was so much leftover food. I had once asked what happened to all of it; packaged food could be donated, but everything else was thrown out. So, I had no reservations about stealing away to the back of the room and loading up a few plates for the week. He saw, and he smiled. He came up to me and I grew quite nervous -- it's not a dignified or professional look to be seeking out the scraps. He told me that I was intelligent and passionate, if a bit new to it all, and that he could see me becoming a great professor. Of course, I didn't know how to respond, but suddenly it was a good day. Dr. Bala, you will be missed. ]]> The first conference presentation I gave was in a small room, filled with about seventy people, at my university. I was a sophomore working on undergraduate research and it felt fantastic to be their with my mentor, my friends, and a room full of people whose work had zero overlap with my own. Public speaking was not my strong suit — it still isn't. Somewhere between excited and terrified I was breathless. The microphone didn't hide that. Nor was there a podium. Everyone could tell I was nerve-wracked and, a little embarrassed that the people I worked with saw it, I was grateful that a few professors threw me some softball questions I felt comfortable answering. At the banquet later that night, I couldn't help but draw in to myself: quiet and unassuming, just listening to the keynote. Afterwards, I was delighted that there was so much leftover food. I had once asked what happened to all of it; packaged food could be donated, but everything else was thrown out. So, I had no reservations about stealing away to the back of the room and loading up a few plates for the week.

He saw, and he smiled. He came up to me and I grew quite nervous — it's not a dignified or professional look to be seeking out the scraps. He told me that I was intelligent and passionate, if a bit new to it all, and that he could see me becoming a great professor. Of course, I didn't know how to respond, but suddenly it was a good day. Dr. Bala, you will be missed.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/the-first-conference-presentation-i-gave-was-in-a-small-room-filled-with-about Mon, 25 Jan 2021 21:31:31 +0000 I like to think that I'm getting better at handling a long distance... https://miss-guided.writeas.com/i-like-to-think-that-im-getting-better-at-handling-a-long-distance-relationship?pk_campaign=rss-feed <![CDATA[I like to think that I'm getting better at handling a long distance relationship. For instance, I'm no longer uncertain if things will work out because of the distance. Recently, my boyfriend left for the start of another semester after an extended visit and -- get this -- I haven't even cried since he left. I thought I was doing so well. Looking back, though, this week has been predominantly laying in bed, eating obscene amounts of chocolate, and going back to bed. It'll get better.]]> I like to think that I'm getting better at handling a long distance relationship. For instance, I'm no longer uncertain if things will work out because of the distance. Recently, my boyfriend left for the start of another semester after an extended visit and — get this — I haven't even cried since he left. I thought I was doing so well. Looking back, though, this week has been predominantly laying in bed, eating obscene amounts of chocolate, and going back to bed. It'll get better.

]]> https://miss-guided.writeas.com/i-like-to-think-that-im-getting-better-at-handling-a-long-distance-relationship Thu, 21 Jan 2021 23:59:25 +0000